We lost our Jade a year ago today.

… They say ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. There was times after she died, I wasn’t so sure. I think it was, singularly, the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. My Dylan was like losing half my heart. But he lived a full and long life. Jadey was so beautiful, blooming…. perfect. Then she was gone, at 6 years old.

Just 2 weeks after Jadey died, the perfect image of her was born. Mia. Her grandaughter. Granny’s dusty Jimmy Choo’s fit her perfectly. But Jadey was BORN a ‘princess’ and Mia has been MADE a princess. She has been cherished and spoilt and cosetted. She shrieked for attention the minute she opened her eyes, and has demanded table service and a team of ‘staff’ ever since! She is gentle like Jade. She is elegant like Jade. She is clever and very gently cunning, like Jade. The difference is, she has some of her mum in there – Shiney. Deep inside the pink dresses she is a Tomboy, she loves mud. She hunts brambles (something Jade would only consider paying someone ELSE to do!). She beats up her brothers, her mother, her father… ESPECIALLY her soft soppy father, Fish! Somehow our love for her has rubbed off on everyone else. The other dogs take it. They just gently prod her, and in return she throws them in a full bodyslam on the ground! They groan a bit, wait for the stars to disappear from infront of their eyes, and tell her ‘its fine love, no…really….i’m OK….’ Limp. Cough. Stagger.  😉

When I think of Jade I see her clearly. We have so many photos of her up its helped. I’ve never been able to hide from the fact she is gone, its been faced full on. I see her in Fish, our treasured Fish who we thank our lucky stars for every day. But she lives on in Mia.

I woke up this morning early. Allan was already up. I got up and he showed me what he’d made for me as a gift for today. He is very special and I shall treasure it.

Last year was a year of painful losses. Three exceptional ones. Never forgotten, always remembered. Our dark, beautiful shadow, Jade, will live on with us forever in our hearts and through the generations to come, we hope and pray, through Fish and Mia.

If you’ve read this, and so many have written to me since losing Jade about the loss of their treasured, adored dogs before their time, please also read this story. I hope it will make you smile. It does through my tears when I read it. Its Jadey the Worker, Jadey the Person, and Jadey the Princess.

http://www.wylanbriar.com/our-stories/not-in-these-heels/

One huge regret will be she will miss the Royal Wedding! Oh how she would of loved it!

Baby, I wrote these words for you the day you died. They stay the same:

“I don’t know when.

Confused about how as well.

Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

If I lie here. If I just lay here. Will you lie with me, and just forget the world. “                   

Chasing Cars. Snow Patrol.